Best quotes by Emo Philips on Me

Checkout quotes by Emo Philips on Me

• ‟ A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

  - Emo Philips
  

• ‟ I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'

  - Emo Philips
  

• ‟ I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.

  - Emo Philips
  

• ‟ People come up to me... concerned... that I'll reproduce.

  - Emo Philips
  

• ‟ I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'

  - Emo Philips
  

• ‟ People always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi.

  - Emo Philips
  

• ‟ He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.

  - Emo Philips