Best quotes by Rodney Dangerfield on Wife

Checkout quotes by Rodney Dangerfield on Wife

• ‟ I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

  - Rodney Dangerfield
  

• ‟ My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

  - Rodney Dangerfield
  

• ‟ My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.

  - Rodney Dangerfield
  

• ‟ My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

  - Rodney Dangerfield
  

• ‟ My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

  - Rodney Dangerfield
  

• ‟ My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

  - Rodney Dangerfield
  

• ‟ My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.

  - Rodney Dangerfield
  

• ‟ My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.

  - Rodney Dangerfield
  

• ‟ What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

  - Rodney Dangerfield
  

• ‟ I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

  - Rodney Dangerfield
  

• ‟ It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

  - Rodney Dangerfield
  

• ‟ With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!

  - Rodney Dangerfield
  

• ‟ I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

  - Rodney Dangerfield
  

• ‟ My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

  - Rodney Dangerfield